1. Threshold Of Attraction

Has anyone ever asked you about your type? Right now, you may be fond of a specific look, but your type changes based on your relationship status. When you’re single, your threshold for romantic attraction is low. In broad terms, you’re attracted to a wide range of people because you’re unsure what kind of person will make you happy. When you’re in a relationship, your preferences change. Your threshold for attraction gets much higher. You already have a partner, so you don’t find the same people attractive. Of course, you may still find other people attractive. Those preferences never disappear, even in long-term relationships. You may be perfectly happy with your partner, but you can still be attracted to other people.

2. Attraction Control

Some people are born with attractive features, but here’s a psychological fact that most people don’t know about attraction: your most attractive features are entirely under your control. You can’t change your height or the shape of your face; you’re stuck with those things for life. However, you can influence your health, grooming, and wardrobe. Just think about the physical features that attractive people have in common. Attractive faces come in all shapes and sizes, and each of these faces looks different and unique, yet we find them all attractive. So why is that? It’s not because of their innate physical features. It’s because of the traits they can control, like style and fitness. If you don’t think you’re attractive, don’t say, “I just wasn’t born that way,” because your appearance is yours to control.

3. Emotional Rapport

Have you ever watched couples interact? Maybe you thought to yourself, “Wow, they have great chemistry.” Chemistry is one of the biggest mysteries in romantic relationships. How do you create chemistry with another person? Is it magic, or is there a reason why some people have chemistry and some people don’t? To build chemistry, you have to build rapport. Rapport is a complicated social relationship built upon deeper knowledge and mutual understanding. You might have heard the term in a business context, but it’s even more important in a relationship. So the next time you’re around a strong couple, pay attention to the way they talk to each other. It almost feels like they’re having several conversations at once—one on the surface, and another below the surface. When you have great chemistry, only you and your partner can communicate in a way that only you two understand. That’s how you build chemistry. It’s easier than you think. The best way to build chemistry is through conversation. Be yourself, make jokes, and get to know each other on a deeper level because that’s where chemistry comes from.

4. Facial Similarity

So what kind of people are you attracted to? You may be drawn to people who share many of your own qualities. Your style is a good example. You may pursue partners with a similar sense of fashion. So if you like to dress down, chances are your partner does too. We see the same pattern in physical features like hair color. It’s not uncommon for romantic couples to look alike. But why do we fall for people who look like us? Because you look at yourself every day. You think about how many times you’ve looked at your face in the mirror. Your features are the features you’re used to, and your attractiveness is how you judge the attractiveness of others. So don’t be surprised if you and your partner have characteristics in common.

5. Smile Frequency

How often do you smile? A study from the American Psychological Association found that women are perceived as more attractive when they smile frequently. Traits like positivity and confidence are associated with happy facial expressions like a genuine smile. So it’s no surprise that men consider women more desirable when they’re smiling. But the opposite is true for men. Women perceive men as more attractive when they smile sparingly. Many women prefer brooding personality types, similar to reserved characters in movies and books. But you shouldn’t change your facial expressions to make yourself more attractive. That’s not the takeaway here. The takeaway is this: facial expressions send strong messages about your attitude and your personality. Smiling or frowning speaks volumes about who you really are.

6. The Hair Limit

Is facial hair attractive or unattractive? On average, men with stubble were rated as more attractive than men who were clean-shaven. But there’s a limit to how long your beard should grow. Men with longer, fuller beards were also considered less attractive than men with stubble. So don’t be afraid to grow out your facial hair. Just make sure you keep it short and clean.

7. Bold Communication

Many men and women play hard to get. They act like they don’t care. They pretend to be cool and carefree. But their disinterest pushes their partners away. The most attractive people send the opposite message. They use bold and confident body language. They send clear messages and express their wants, needs, and feelings. These people aren’t afraid to communicate their interest, and that communication makes them even more attractive.

8. The Hidden Sense

Physical attraction involves all five senses. We are attracted to the way someone looks, the sound of someone’s voice, and the way someone smells. A smell can be so powerful that it overwhelms you with desire for another person. The unique smell of a partner, for example, can trigger a wide range of emotions from comfort to attraction. So, to make yourself more attractive, pay attention to the way you smell. Create a unique scent for yourself because your sense of smell could be one of your most attractive traits.

9. Influential Media

How do you decide who’s attractive and who isn’t? Our standards are heavily influenced by the media. We are constantly exposed to models, actors, and other celebrities whose appearances define modern romance. When looking at strangers, we subconsciously measure their attractiveness against the people we idolize. But we treat partners a little differently. You may think someone’s attractive based on popular traits, but you’re more likely to choose a partner who’s uniquely attractive to you.

10. The Beauty Bias

Is there a beauty bias in our culture? Unfortunately, attractive people have more opportunities than less attractive people. On average, they are perceived as more intelligent, more confident, and more successful. They are more likely to get job offers, make more money, and make good first impressions. So why do attractive people have an advantage? Well, because most of us have a weak spot for people we find attractive. When you encounter someone you find attractive, you automatically make certain assumptions about them. You want to like them, and you want them to like you. So does a beauty bias exist in the world today? Absolutely.

11. Attractive Popularity

Sometimes your physical attractiveness has nothing to do with you. Let’s say a guy is sitting next to his girlfriend because he’s captured the attention of one woman. He is more likely to capture the attention of others. The attention you receive is one way we measure attraction. If you’re constantly being fawned over, others will subconsciously find you attractive. If you’re constantly being ignored, then you may experience the opposite.

12. Tonal Changes

When you’re flirting with someone you like, your voice actually changes. This comes from a 2010 study in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. Researchers found that men and women speak in a lower register when they find someone attractive. But that’s not all—men and women are also more likely to be attracted to someone’s voice if they find them physically attractive too. In other words, your voice and vocal preferences influence the people you like and the people who like you.

13. Attractive Colors

Are some colors more attractive than others? Well, the most attractive color is also the symbolic color of love. On average, women who wear red are rated as more attractive than women who wear any other color. But why is red more attractive than a color like blue? Red communicates powerful subliminal messages that impact your attraction to another person. It’s a bold, daring color that we naturally associate with romance, attraction, and love. So how can you give your physical appearance an instant boost? Just incorporate more red into your wardrobe.

14. Musical Atmosphere

Music can have a psychological impact on your attraction and your attractiveness. When listening to the right music, you can experience a person in a completely different way. Music creates atmosphere, and atmosphere sets the tone of any interaction. This effect was carefully examined in a 2014 study from the Journal of Psychology of Music. Researchers analyzed the romantic attraction of conversation partners with and without music playing. It turns out that the addition of music significantly increases their physical and emotional connections. In other words, turn on some music, even if it’s not the perfect song. The presence of background music can make you a more attractive option.

15. Familiar Attraction

Familiarity is one of the most powerful motivators of attraction. The more familiar someone feels, the closer you feel to them. Now, you won’t be attracted to everyone you feel close to. However, it’s very likely that the person you fall for will be intimately involved in your life. For example, you may be attracted to someone who works at your favorite restaurant. You see this person relatively often, so they feel more familiar. You’ve gotten to know them better, and over time, your attraction has grown stronger. Even if this person isn’t attractive to the rest of the world, their familiarity makes them attractive to you.

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